Tom Arnold Quotes

Kids; 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery

I didn’t quit football because I failed a drug test, I failed a test because I was ready to quite football.

My wife’s nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don’t notice it any more.

To the extent that movies get released, they are generally not big box-office generators. Hollywood is clearly focusing on their holiday releases coming up and those will either make or break the year.

The misconception about Hollywood is that it’s a crazy drug and alcohol fueled place. It can be but there’s also a huge sober community.

It’s pretty lonely and sad to be single. Every night was the same for me, I’d go home and curl up in bed with my favorite book. Well, actually it was a magazine.

The difference between one man and another is not mere ability… it is energy.

Dating is so insecure. My last relationship, I was always there for her and she dumped me. I told her about it. I said, “Remember when your grandma died? I was there. Remember when you flunked out of school? I was there. Remember when you lost your job? I was there!” She said, “I know

Women; can’t live with em, can’t kill em

When you work with your wife you really have no “me” time, or place to get away and be with the guys, because you’re at work all day together, and then you’re at home, and you have this other public life.

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There are people who believe once somebody gets you a job in show business you are set and the truth is you have to fight for every job. People opened the doors for me for sure and hopefully I’ve helped open the door for some people but when you’re there it’s on you and you better be ready for it.

The nature of show business is people within the business feel that if someone else fails, they move up a notch.

Hey, Warren, the Raiders signed you to a seven-year deal. I guess Bill Callahan was right – they are the dumbest team in America.

Any time your head explodes, that’s not a good situation.