P. G. Wodehouse Quotes.
It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.
Golf… is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.
I always advise people never to give advice.
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.
Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say ‘when.’
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.
Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.
It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn’t.
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life’s gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away.
The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.
She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
Flowers are happy things.
Some minds are like soup in a poor restaurant—better left unstirred.
One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth.
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say ‘when!’
Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.
Well, why do you want a political career? Have you ever been in the House of Commons and taken a good square look at the inmates? As weird a gaggle of freaks and sub-humans as was ever collected in one spot.
He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, ‘Do trousers matter?'” “The mood will pass, sir.
Oh, I don’t know, you know, don’t you know?
Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.
I always strive, when I can, to spread sweetness and light. There have been several complaints about it.
There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.
Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
