Katt Williams Quotes

Golf is a game with morals. There’s always an opportunity to be a scoundrel. That’s why it’s a gentleman’s game.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it’s ribbed for your pleasure.

I go where people are hurting. I stand on the stage, and I make people laugh for an hour and a half.

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it’ll be your last headache.

Just hit the blunt one time and see if it don’t change your perception on whats important in your life.

I think pimp, therefore i am.

White people, you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us!

That is the job of a comedian: To take unpleasant subject matter and forcibly, with his hands, wring the funny out of it.

All comedy comes from a dark place.

My name is “A Pimp named Slickback” Wait… A Pimp?? … Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the “A Pimp Named” part. Yes Tom, everytime.

I apologize for the fact that the word ‘anti-Mexican’ is being said to a black guy in America.

My legs tired, ain’t your legs tired!? His legs ain’t Tired! He Just… Tinktinktinktinktinktink, TinktinkTinktinkTinktink!! Just paperclips and Sparks everywhere!

Invisibility is the only thing that fame cost me. I used to be able to go places and blend in. Anonymity is something you lose on this side of things.

Hello?… No I’m sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it’s a nine not a seven… Well try it if it doest work call me back we’ll figure this thing out.

If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car.

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

I’m a grown man. I do whatever I feel like doing with my hair. And if for some reason you feel like there’s a magnet and you should have something to say to me, then more power to you. I hope you’re prepared.

Genius is often called crazy, but crazy is never called genius. So you just have to put out the work and let the chips fall where they may.

The past is something for you to learn from and the future is something that you hope is going to happen, but I’m always speaking to my actual fans in present tense.