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Crabs Quotes

Crabs Quotes by George Carlin, Paul Fleischman, Bill Maher, Rick Riordan, Victor Hugo, Omari Hardwick and many others.

Anyone who’s onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I’d always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
The object in America is to avoid contact, to treat all as foes unless they’re known to be friends. Here you have a million crabs living in a million crevices. … But the garden’s greatest benefit, I feel, as not relief to the eyes, but to make the eyes sees our neighbors.
Paul Fleischman
Disneyland’s a mess. And it’s not just the measles. Donald Duck has bird flu. Pocahontas has small pox. The Little Mermaid has crabs. And the Monorail? Mono.
Bill Maher
If you’ve seen a crab’s mouth, all foamy and gross with whiskers and snapping bits, you can imagine this one didn’t look any better blown up to billboard size.
Rick Riordan
There are souls which, crab-like, crawl continually toward darkness, going back in life rather than advancing in it, using what experience they have to increase their deformity, growing worse without ceasing, and becoming steeped more and more thoroughly in an intensifying wickedness.
Victor Hugo
People are fond of that ‘crabs in a barrel’ mentality, and I’m like, ‘No, there needs to be more so we can create more barrels; there doesn’t need to be one barrel.’
Omari Hardwick
He who owns a wood of proper land in this country, and, in the face of all the personal riches of the day, only raises crabs and choke pears, deserves to lose the respect of all sensible men.
Andrew Jackson Downing
We have the ability to approach our race like ants, or we have the ability to approach our race like crabs.
Kanye West
…a young man, Jamaican, perhaps, his head circled in a scarf with sunbleached dreadlocks on piled on top, looking like a plate of soft-shell crabs.
Steve Martin
The weirdest place I ever actually woke up in was a villa on the beach in Mexico. It was burning hot, and there were all these crabs walking around me. But I was feeling good, so I went with the vibe.
Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.
Charles M. Schulz
When I left Ohio when I was 17 and ended up in New York and realised that not all films had the giant crab monsters in them, it really opened up a lot of things for me.
Jim Jarmusch
In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that one of the jobs that prepared her to be president was sliming fish in Alaska. As opposed to Bill, who learned by catching crabs in Cancun.
Jimmy Fallon
I’ve always wanted to be a giant space crab.
Gabe Newell
You cannot teach a crab to walk straight.
Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious.
Bill Meyer
Worse, I have to admit to feeling the jealousy of one crab for another that has managed to climb out of the barrel.
Richard Russo
Our last deed, like the young of the land crab, wends its way to the sea of cause and effect as soon as born, and makes a drop there to eternity.
Henry David Thoreau
Worlds can be found by a child and an adult bending down and looking together under the grass stems or at the skittering crabs in a tidal pool.
Mary Catherine Bateson
Who’s going to rob us? A crackhead crab? A jellyfish junkie?
Kathy Reichs
But I love to feel events overlapping each other, crawling over one another like wet crabs in a basket
Lawrence Durrell
This hook nose and crab meister attitude has gotten me every job I’ve ever had. And more divorces than I care to remember.
Norman Fell
We spent a lot of time on the beach when I was young so I’d also take pictures of seaweed and crabs.
Graeme Le Saux
There is an animal inside me,
clutching fast to my heart,
a huge crab.
Anne Sexton
Through searching out origins, one becomes a crab. The historian looks backwards, and finally he also believes backwards.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Instead of thinking about the sex, I’d always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
The best way to eat crabs, as everyone knows, is off newspaper at a large table with a large number of people.
Laurie Colwin
Without a doubt, one of my favorite American ingredients is blue crabs, a true delicacy! And a great value, I think.
Jose Andres
I grew up in the Southwest of the U.K., on the coast in Cornwall. I used to keep a marine fish tank outside the house, where we would go down to the tide pools and catch fish and crabs. I think I caught a cuttlefish once.
Sam Palladio
If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can’t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to screw something out of the other person in return—if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.
Dale Carnegie
Oysters open completely when the moon is full; and when the crab sees one it throws a piece of stone or seaweed into it and the oyster cannot close again so that it serves the crab for meat. Such is the fate of him who opens his mouth too much and thereby puts himself at the mercy of the listener.
Leonardo da Vinci
The second-most abundant biopolymer on the planet is called chitin, and some 100 million tons of it are produced every year by organisms such as shrimps, crabs, scorpions, and butterflies. We thought if we could tune its properties, we could generate structures that are multifunctional out of a single part.
Neri Oxman
You can keep a bunch of crabs in a shallow container, and none of them will escape. Because as soon as one of ’em tries to climb out, the others pull him back in.” -Hardy
Lisa Kleypas
When a woman grabs my braids and says “How cute!” I crab her breast and say “How cute!” She never touches me again!
Russell Means
Like those crabs which dress themselves with seaweed, we wear belief and custom.
Cyril Connolly
I was being chased by a giant crab. That’s not funny.
Dane Cook
I wanna buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make them live together.
Demetri Martin
I got body lice in Germany! I’d tell you they were crabs, but I wasn’t getting laid.
Billie Joe Armstrong
Religion must always be a crab fruit; it cannot be grafted, and keep its wild beauty.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Washington is gripped by crab-in-the-bucket syndrome. And there’s no cure in sight. Put a single crab in an uncovered bucket, and it will find a way to climb up and out on its own. Put a dozen crabs in a bucket, and 11 will fight with all their might to pull down the striver who attempts escape.
Michelle Malkin
There are no small number of people in this world who, solitary by nature, always try to go back into their shell like a hermit crab or a snail.
Anton Chekhov
If a D.C. event doesn’t have crab cakes, it’s low-rent and you need to flee.
Tony Hale
I adore summer entertaining. For a dinner party at the farm, I might prepare homemade fettuccine with porcini mushrooms, soft-shell crabs, spinach from the garden, and lemon tarts with fraises des bois for dessert.
Martha Stewart
There’s room for everybody. It’s like crabs in the bucket – no pun intended, shout-out to k-os – but there’s a lot of room for different types of Canadian music, cadences and influences.
In ‘Deadliest Catch,’ we have men in ships in rough seas catching crabs. With ‘Whale Wars,’ we have men and women from a dozen different nations going out to sea in rough weather to help save the whales. We also have icebergs, whales, penguins, and dramatic ship-to-ship confrontations.
Paul Watson
New England oysters are better than Chesapeake. But Chesapeake blue crabs are unbeatable.
Jim Himes
I love playing half squid/half crab guy because you can get away with a level of acting that if you tried it anywhere else they’d arrest you for crimes against acting.
Bill Nighy
I’m a Cancerian, the typical crab with the tough outer shell and the soft bit in the middle. I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with people being unnecessarily nasty, but I can take it if someone doesn’t like my music – I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.
Katherine Jenkins
People have a crab mentality, man. They’re walking sideways.
Cody Wilson
As the sea-crab swimmeth always against the stream, so doth wit always against wisdom.
I have one last request. Don’t use embalming fluid on me; I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
Woody Allen
It may not be irrelevant to note that even very modest forms of life, like earthworms, dung beetles and fiddler crabs, have no trouble identifying the real problems they must deal with if they are to survive.
Edward Goldsmith
You will never make the crab walk straight.
In sci-fi convention, life-forms that hadn’t developed space travel were mere prehistory — horse-shoe crabs of the cosmic scene — and something of the humiliation of being stuck on a provincial planet in a galactic backwater has stayed with me ever since.
Barbara Ehrenreich
I don’t shop online, but my wife buys everything at home. We buy sea crabs, fresh crabs, all kinds of things.
Jack Ma
You cannot make a crab walk straight.
I’ve been on some fairways that are as good as the greens we putted on back then. We had crab grass. I remember one green where I putted through ants.
Sam Snead
It’s always weird when I meet people who don’t know how to crack crabs open and eat them the right way. I take a lot of pride in my crab-eating ability.
Eric Hutchinson
The highest treason a crab can commit is to make a leap for the rim of the bucket.
Steven Pressfield
In Baltimore, soft crabs are always fried (or broiled) in the altogether, with maybe a small jock-strap of bacon added.
H. L. Mencken
That reminds me to remark, in passing, that the very first official thing I did, in my administration-and it was on the first day of it, too-was to start a patent office; for I knew that a country without a patent office and good patent laws was just a crab, and couldn’t travel any way but sideways or backways.
Mark Twain
You’re a mere chick. I remember you when you were a egg. Don’t come trying to teach me, sir. Crabs and crumpets!
C. S. Lewis
She had only to stand in the orchard, to put her hand on a little crab tree and look up at the apples, to make you feel the goodness of planting and tending and harvesting at last.
Willa Cather
I do like the ocean wave, actually. I’m born under the sign of Cancer – the sign of the crab – so I like coastal areas and sunny beaches and such – although not the wide-open and deep seas.
Anjelica Huston
You are very fortunate to be assigned to duty at Fortress Monroe on Chesapeake Bay; it is just the season for soft shelled crabs, and hog fish have just come in, and they are the most delicious panfish you ever ate.
Winfield Scott
My favorite Dominican dish to indulge in is anything with crab.
Pharrell Williams
I love stone crabs. And I love popcorn.
Jim Nantz
A work of art is an act of love. Critics are crab lice.
David Gerrold
But I am greedy for life. I do too much of everything all the time. Suddenly one day my heart will fail. The Iron Crab will get me as it got my father. But I am not afraid of The Crab. At least I shall have died from an honourable disease. Perhaps they will put on my tombstone. ‘This Man Died from Living Too Much’.
Ian Fleming
Man, I’m just into Buddhism, and I’m at peace with the fact that me, as this person, probably gonna not be around. Think about a hermit crab, okay? And it’s a shell. It’s like, they go from one shell to the next. And that’s what I am. I’m just a hermit crab changin’ shells.
Danny McBride
The Thieves of Manhattan is a sly and cutting riff on the book-publishing world that is quite funny unless you happen to be an author, in which case the novel will make you consider a more sensible profession-like being a rodeo clown, for example, or a crab-fisherman in the Bering Sea.
Carl Hiaasen
Michelle [ Pfeiffer] was perfect as Miss Baltimore Crabs.
Kristin Chenoweth
And in the fountain squatted a giant crab. I’m not talking ‘giant’ like $7.99 all-you-can-eat Alaskan king crab. I’m talking ‘giant’ like bigger than the fountain.
Rick Riordan
So if anybody wants to get me something, get me 60 crabs – one for each year. I don’t want no diamonds, I don’t want no shoes, I don’t want no party. I want some crabs.
Patti LaBelle
My daughter,” I said blankly. “I see. Correct me if I am wrong, but I thought it took a man, as well as a woman, to make a child. Is this infant’s father to be a crab, or a seagull maybe? Or were you planning to shipwreck some likely sailor on my doorstep, so I can make convenient use of him?
Juliet Marillier
Lissa knelt down, compassion on her face. I wasn’t surprised, since she’d always had a thing for animals. She’d lectured me for days after I’d instigated the infamous hamster-and-hermit-crab fight. I’d viewed the fight as a testing of worthy opponents. She’d seen it as animal cruelty.
Richelle Mead
Being from Baltimore, I’m a crab cake snob, and I’m very particular on where I eat my crab cakes.
Mark Teixeira